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Parents who are willing or unwilling to pay Child Support

Those parents who are willing and able to pay support have their children’s best interests at heart. These children likely will flourish and grow to responsible adulthood. If the parents miss a payment, a caseworker’s early telephone call will often reveal the reason – a change of job or other circumstance, an error in payment identification – and the problem usually can be resolved.

For parents who are willing but unable to pay, a number of states have started programs to improve job skills or find employment. States are looking at the benefits of ensuring that child support orders are set at a realistic amount. Many states work with these parents effectively to ensure that child support debt does not drive them away from their children.

Parents who are unwilling but able to pay face strong enforcement tools, such as wage withholding, tax offset, passport denial, and asset seizures. Just as important, parents who have a close relationship with their children are more inclined to pay child support: removing barriers to access may lead to increased collections, and to a better chance for children to have a secure, successful adulthood.

For parents who are unwilling and unable to pay, services are sometimes available to give them the skills to earn enough money to support their children and help them discover the satisfaction of parenting. Setting fair support orders and helping these parents acquire job and parenting skills might help them to make their children’s lives, and their own, more rewarding.

5 Responses to Parents who are willing or unwilling to pay Child Support

  1. My child’s father dropped off the face of the earth for nearly 5 years the last time we tried to work things out when our child was 2 years old. He stopped paying child support. He never saw our child again. He blocked me on his Facebook account. He dropped our child cold along with me when our relationship ended. Last year, I finally found him accidentally by driving by his house and seeing his last known girlfriend walking in the yard. I stopped and he was there. His demeanor towards me was very cruel as usual. I also had our child with me. He didn’t even acknowledge him. I reported the address to child support. He started paying again in August of last year (2018). Payments have been received weekly until the end of June this year (2019). We receive other assistance like food stamps but the child support gets counted & reduces the amount we receive through those programs. Our rent is income based. My child is disabled and the ssi he receives is also income based. 2/3rd of any child support received is deducted from his ssi check. I haven’t received child support in 3 weeks yet adjustments can’t be made to our rent for 2 months. We can’t afford to live anywhere that isn’t income based. I have no doubt that that’s because we can’t receive paperwork labeling my child’s father as delinquent in paying child support until he hasn’t paid for 2 months. This is obviously very harmful to the children involved. My child’s father maintains NO contact with me. He refuses to co-parent with me. He doesn’t notify me right away if payroll changes or anything about his job changes. Child support gives him 2 months with no regulations to report changes sooner yet I pay 100% every day, every week, and every month. More importantly, my child is the one who pays when he don’t pay. We get unfair amounts deducted from food & disability programs that we really need. It places us in a very desperate situation when we’re counting on him to pay because we have to buy food with child support money or pay a certain percentage of shelter costs out of the child support we’re supposed to receive. Have you ever tried to feed a severely autistic 7 year old food bank food? Most of that food isn’t even nutritious. It’s box food. Believe me. I wish there were 24 hour daycares in my area who can accommodate disabled children but there simply isn’t. The only place where he’s accommodated is at school and I’m not qualified to work there or I would in a heartbeat. I can’t hardly keep a stable job because of the situation I’ve been left in with my child. I hear y’all out that the child support program is intended to help families like mine while simultaneously reducing the need for other state programs, such as SNAP or Tenncare but the structure of the need based system needs to change for humane purposes. There are so many families like mine. The number of women who’ve been abandoned with children living in income based housing is outrageous. I’m sick of calling the child support office asking if he’s been found yet when my child’s father doesn’t pay for years. I’ve actually been told by a worker before that it’s not her job to find my child’s father- it’s my job. I’m sick of calling the child’s support office when he stops paying again for 2 weeks to explain my desperate situation and being told that there’s nothing they can do until 2 months of delinquency is reached. This is a civil rights issue. As far as I know there’s no law stating that I can’t be discriminated against based upon my social class but all the income based system does is treat me and my child with no respect or dignity. It’s downright inhumane towards us when I can call the child support system to explain how missed payments or suddenly not receiving a payment all month affects our food & shelter then all they do about that is they explain to me my child’s father’s circumstances that may be causing missed payments, such as job change or change in the day he gets paid. Policies are so compassionate towards my child’s father’s situation that they don’t even account for my child’s situation. They literally have more compassion for my child’s father than our 7 year old child. I can not believe that the state has the nerve to do this to needy families who obviously have children. It’s interesting that he has 60 days to report income changes before he goes to court when I only have 10 days to report income changes to SS or DHS. Someone important needs to read what I wrote here because the people who answer the telephones can’t do anything except echo policies that are inhumane towards the families who are receiving the child support payments. Infrequently paid child support seriously and directly harms children from low income families who also still need additional help despite receiving that child support. It feels like me & my child are a lesser life form just because we need help. Intentional or not- that’s how it comes off towards my family when nobody cares about how shelter or food gets affected when he don’t pay. It’s not just how it comes off- it’s how it actually is. My number one advice is please get the perspective of the families in need prior to writing policies. Thank you.

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359 Responses to Tell Us Your Experience At Your Local Child Support Office

  1. I am being wrongfully charged. I was getting ssi and my sons received a check also, but my exwife lied and she’s getting more of my income than I am. I can’t afford my own houseing. I have to live with relatives! Please help me!

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DISCLAIMER: This site is NOT affiliated with any government sites or agencies, this site is for informational purposes only. If you have questions about child support issues it’s always best you contact your local child support office.

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